A fire-speaker origin story

after decades of hiding and making myself small, it’s time to be honest about what’s happening. On life, illness, and patriarchal conditioning of the wild feminine.

I have spent most of my life in hiding.

Hiding truths from the world, and from myself, to protect a vision of a perfect family, a perfect Greek diaspora daughter, a perfect student. The truths and tumult hidden beneath?

That was hidden too. Hiding, making oneself small, minimizing the truth. It’s part of the reason why things are where they are. We turn a blind eye. We don’t say what’s just behind the teeth, we bury down the righteous anger beneath smiles and platitudes. The fire we do not speak consumes us.

Because my mother taught me we had to stay small. Because in rural peasant southern Mediterranean culture, the woman served and kept quiet. She kept the family going.

I tried to do the same but my body revolted. And it nearly destroyed me.

So now I am speaking out.

I have created profiles with my real name after years of posting in hiding. I have built a website in hopes that those who walk the same path find me.

I am coming out and being honest. I trust my ancestors and those who protect me to keep me safe, and bring me into contact with others like me.

Those who were taught to remain small and not take up space. Those who have rebelled against the patriarchal, the capitalist, the extractionist.

Nothing will be left if we keep turning our gaze from the truth.

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